Our resident expert strategists in naps, treats, and boosting team happiness
Honey
Chief Ball Officer
NICKNAMES:Honey Bun, Buns, Little Bun, Honey B Spier, Cinnamon Bun MOM: Sol ABOUT: Collects (and loses) tennis balls like it’s her full-time job. Remembers every place she’s ever gotten a treat, needs a daily park visit, and will throw a fit (real kind, not the TikTok kind) over wrong turns.
Mort Winston
Chaos Operations
NICKNAMES: Mouse, Morty Mouse, Mortoise Tortoise, Squishy, Catrick, Catthew, Catricia, Graham Morton, Snorty MOM: Jess ABOUT: Doesn't know he's a cat - has the dexterity and grace of a clumsy baby elephant. Snores, squeaks and slobbers - but cannot meow.
Pallina
Chief Executive Cat
NICKNAMES: Carotina, Cipollina, Murderous Mouse, Little Apocalypse Ball, Tiny Rascal Bean, Tiny Bat, Darkness Princess MOM: Martina ABOUT: A sassy, temperamental absolute diva who is always right. Successful social climber. Runs the house and her mom is just living in it.
Bentley
Chief Barketing Office
NICKNAMES: too-toos, that guy, hoodle-toodles, ments, critter, da dog
MOM: Amal ABOUT: A zoomies champion and snack bandit, he spends his days chasing birds, barking at nothing, and trying to open doors despite being two inches tall. Equal parts drama and charm, he’s the true noise complaint.
Mr. Picky
Menu Approval Lead
NICKNAMES: Picky boy, Pi-kulit, Pickypatatootie MOM: Bianca ABOUT: Loves treats and lives up to his name (yes, he became a picky eater after getting it). Homemade cat food only. Spent his first months with a senior dog and now greets, sits on laps, and plays fetch like one too.
Stinky
Covert Emissions
NICKNAMES: Stinks, Snuggles MOM: Amarah ABOUT: A blend between house cat and wild animal, he loves being outside exploring but is also definitely a big cuddle baby. He got his name because he loved cuddling but would always silently fart when he got super comfortable (aka all the time).
Crowley
Risk Trainee
NICKNAMES: The Void, Dumb-Dumb, Baby-bean, Crowleykins, "SIR!" MOM: Clarissa ABOUT: Scared of everything and himself, still protects as best as he can. Can’t tell windows and mirrors apart. Needs routine or his day will be ruined (he will cry to let you know). No friends, only likes his mama
Luci (Lucipurr)
Open-Door Policy Rep
NICKNAMES: Miss Ma'am, The Chonk, Miss Width, Miss Sockies MOM: Clarissa ABOUT: No concept of personal space, expert at opening doors, windows and jars, and happiest when rolling around in dirt and playing with candles and sticks. Befriends any human, but finds her son annoying.